Tips Dressing For female

Geopolitics is really starting to mess with my autumn/winter wardrobe. While the UN conveniently sits in silence, government officials around the world can’t seem to shut up about what women should or shouldn’t wear.

India’s tourism minister, for example, has just advised that foreign women shouldn’t wear skirts “for their own safety”. Meanwhile a number of French mayors are nobly continuing to ban the burkini even after France’s highest administrative court ruled the ban illegal. These mayors care about women’s right to bare arms and are willing to break the law for it. Ladies, you should be grateful.

And I certainly don’t want to sound ungrateful. I think it’s great that politicians understand that women’s rights are often simply a matter of the right sort of clothing. It’s laudable that so many men are encouraging us to exercise sartorial safety. But here’s the thing: if you’re going to become the fashion police you need to take your policing a little more seriously. All of this advice is very confusing, occasionally conflicting and doesn’t seem terribly well thought out. Is a skort as dangerous as a skirt, for example? Is a sarong just as wrong? And can we have an official verdict on the burkini already before burkini season is over?

I’m sure a lot of women are as concerned about inadvertently dressing inappropriately as I am. So while we wait for the UN to get their act together and sort out some sort of official female dress code we can all abide by, I’ve put together some pointers on dressing while female. Please note, of course, that these are only guidelines and you should always double-check your outfit with a man.

Bikinis in Israel

While the French are saying non to burkinis, their sluttier sister, the bikini, appears equally out of fashion in Israel. A performance by singer Hanna Goor at a government-organized event was recently cut short because, apparently, her shorts were too short and she was wearing a bikini top. The culture ministry, shocked and saddened by what the public had endured, noted that they would work to ensure correct dress at future events.

As an editorial in Haaretz noted: “The modesty regime that the culture ministry is trying to enforce on events meant for the general public is the mirror image of France’s unconstitutional burkini law.”

Started from the burkini bottoms now we here, eh?

Bikinis in any country whatsoever if you’re not beach body ready

It’s irresponsible to wear a bikini unless you’ve got a six pack and a thigh gap. This may not be official legislation in most countries – but the media and advertising industry helpfully ensure that women are cognizant of these rules all around the world.

High heels in a professional environment

In May, a London receptionist was sent home from her first day at corporate accountancy firm PwC after refusing to wear heels. Around the same time a waitress at a Canadian restaurant was told she couldn’t change out of her heels even though her feet were bleeding. I have very little sympathy for these women. Yes, heels can be incredibly painful and result in debilitating foot deformities – but have you seen Jurassic World? If Bryce Dallas Howard can dodge dinosaurs and sprint through a muddy jungle while wearing 3.5-inch pumps, you should probably just get a decent podiatrist and suck it up!